Dialogue on the Ba Da Boon

Part 1 of 2

It’s a tragic enough story. Did you ever hear of the uh trope of “bringing back the boon”?

Nah I don’t think so. I missed that class.

There’s the hero, or heroine who gets inspired to take a sacred journey where all this shit happens or doesn’t happen, there are helpers –

Marvel comics I take it.

[flat look] Joseph Campbell. Frazer’s Golden Bough, maybe. Okay now at some point, on this sacred journey, the hero has to bring the boon back to everybody else, they have to return to the Rest of Us with this stuff they’ve created or learned. It’s kind of the point of the whole ordeal.

Sounds like an ordeal. Almost like a psychedelic trip, or maybe as mundane as a trip to the supermarket? Wait, why do I get the unmistakable feeling you’re about to tell me about somebody  who –

Yes, I know someone who went through this. There are always dangers to bringing back the boon. I mean, you gotta get to the boon first. I don’t know the full details of the story, and the main players are pretty uh non-forthcoming about full details.  

Bringing back the baboon did you say?

The boon, the boon!

Sounds like a rumor given large feet by you.

Well, okay. [Gumpesquely] It might be just that. Anyway, this guy and his girl are headed to Chankfest, it’s hot as hell, they’re flying down the interstate and are maybe just two or three exits away when she —

What is Chankfest?

That’s what it was called. I-I don’t know. Hank somebody toured with Cher, I dunno. A detail that is unimportant.

No detail is unimportant. They made a festival out of that?

Yes, three nights near a swamp in August. Just let me tell it. First of all, they’re both loaded, and the van, a very expensive new Savana, has bunches and bunches of dope hidden away.

The boon.

[slight smile] You are so sharp. God! So she turns suddenly to him, they’re a couple that’s been married about five years, and she says, “Get off at the next exit, I want to rent a car. I found one right off the interstate.” And it transpires that she’s decided at just this moment, afternoon one of the festival they are yet to arrive at, to end their relationship.

So does he stop and get the rental for her?

Yeah, he stops and she grabs her most important stuff and runs off without a word or a wave. He’s heartbroken and tries to talk to her as she drives away in the rental, but she won’t have anything to do with him and leaves him at the V of an exit, where he’s trying to get his automated pre-installed dab pipe to hit but it’s empty and that’s where he is, reaching under the driver’s seat for the stash, when the state trooper knocks on his window three sharp raps whack whack whack Hey buddih!!??

Ba da boon.

© 2021 Thomas N. Dennis

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